Saturday, 29 December 2012

What a Happy Christmas we all had!

I know that I am not alone in just having had a Christmas that proved to be very happy indeed.

Christmas Eve my son and his wife arrived, then my other son John entered the house,then my husband's daughter and her husband and his parents and their children were all here ready to attend the Christmas Carol Service starting at 6 pm in the evening. The weather was cold, but not raining, and so we walked to the church which is literally two mins away!

The church was absolutely packed.. All the children were given a face mask representing the kings, the sheep, the sheppards,the angels and of course Mary and Joseph.. As the service processed along, each of them came into the centre isle and were made part of the tale.. It took just over and hour with the singing and the performing, and everyone left the church feeling very connected and ready for Christmas to begin.

John's daughter and family then left us, taking their presents with them, and we settled down to a quiet evening all chatting and laughing away. I was a little anxious as I was told that I had nothing to do, Amy my daughter in law and Rebecca were going to be doing it all.

We sat in the kitchen whilst Chris my son, and Amy prepared the vegetables for the morning... I felt anxious as I was out of the loop.. Rebecca would be bringing the turkey in the morning driving over from Oxford which is just over a hundred miles away.

 Spot on time, she rang the bell and trouped in with her two sons and daughter.. more laughter and chatting as I was told to sit in the front room and make sure the table was laid!!! When the meal came, it was utterly scrumptious and really and truly a feast... ending not with Xmas pud, but a round wreath of meringue and fruits of the forest with almond flakes and cream to top it.. Swooningly marvellous!..

In the evening we played a quiz that Amy had prepared and divided us into three teams, John and little John being one.. they actually won the quiz, although the other teams consisted of three persons, so we should have had the advantage... Anyway it took a long time and many sections to complete and the evening just swung by*

Boxing day was excellent too, as although Rebecca and her brood left around lunch time, and so did Little John my youngest[ we call him little John to differentiate from big John my husband,] we still had Amy and Chris with us, and our young neighbour came around with her husband and young daughter and more cups of tea and endless cakes made the afternoon whizz by..

Today we went next door for drinks and nibbles -these nice people rent from us and are the perfect lodgers.. we met up with other friends and had another super day..

I cannot believe how it is almost Sunday, Christmas is over, the New Year beckons, and we have all been so very happy in each others' company, and although the booze did flow, it wasn't making anyone be silly.. Actually I think that is the main cause for my anxiety, having booze around... but with my lot they do it, and don't get silly or argumentative.. so I should really relax about having it around.. just another hangup from other days before..  

I do hope that you all have had a good time too... Its really not about getting gifts, because the most precious gift of all to give your kids and grand kids, is your time, love and attention unguarded and total in depth to them.. They will not remember the presents, but the feelings, the warmth, and the laughter that they heard and felt when they visited together at your house.

I may not be rich, but all the people that are close to me, family and friends, cost nothing but are the most precious things I carry in my heart.

TO all my friends and fellow bloggers, I hope that this coming year is going to be a super one for all... that it will lift our hearts and fill them with joy and strength to cope with whatever we have to face.. next month I will have been blogging for one year.. it feels like a lifetime already.. but how pleased I am that I have found you all in blogland!

Monday, 17 December 2012

Last Friday December 14th in America

Like so many people I have been appalled at what happened in a little primary school in an affluent part of Connecticut in America. That someone who was only in his young adulthood, should choose to enter a school and decimate the children after killing his own mother, is beyond any normal person's understanding. As a mother myself, I have cried over those pictures of all the little ones staring out at the camera, full of life.. now no more.. The heartache that it has bought to their families, the brave teachers that tried to stop the carnage... all those families will be a long time traumatised by the events that happened a few days ago.
Of course being able to access guns, made it easier for him to carry out such destruction, but it wasn't just the guns, it was the fact that he was very very medically unsafe and his mother was trying to cope all on her own.. When children display illnesses such as this boy had done over the years, she should have had the strength to put him away in an institution where he would have been looked after. She obviously knew that it was getting to a boiling point in her relationship with him, as she spoke about it with her friends.. Mental illness is very hard to cope with, and growing up with a child that displayed all these odd tendancies, she must have known something was going to happen before long, and that she would be helpless to stop. It now seems she was quite paranoid, and was stocking up food and items that would help her little family get through any difficult times ahead... From hearing what the older boy has had to say, it would appear, that he was quite capable and outgoing and completely different from his damaged brother.

Her not being able, or not wanting to take the step  of putting away her child, has led to her being shot dead, and so many others too..
 Don't just focus on the gun laws in America, but have a hard long look at the mental health act and why it isnt doing more for parents, trying to deal with  the care of their mentally disturbed children..

WE are all to blame for turning a blind eye when  aware that people around you are displaying odd behaviour, just hoping it will all sort itself out... but it never does, someone has to make a move, both on the gun front and also where the health act can be applied in order to make the world a bit safer...

There was an article written in a newspaper over the last weekend, by a lady,saying that she had similar times and trouble dealing with her 13 year old.. she also was identifying her situation as very similar to one in the Lamza household...

she showed that there was indifference by the authorities to offer help to her in this terrible situation.. it doesn't matter that on his good days he is lovely, with such behaviour patterns, he should be away from the general public and in a safe place..By writing the article she was showing the world, the real picture and why so many parents have to cope on their own.. there is a real disinclination to get involved unless they commit crimes..

 but prison is not the answer, its not a safe environment, and they would certainly not be cared for in such a place, but it seems its the only way for the authorities in America to sit up and take an interest... what a mess it all is.....

Of course, its not easy, allowing children to be taken away into an institution, but it certainly would make the streets of any town a lot safer, if mentally disturbed children and adults were in a safe place and not in the towns and cities, able to move around and no one really caring what they were doing, or planning.

I know also that this murdered mother was trying her best to manage it all on her own, and  I think a little of her own paranoid thoughts must have made all her life  quite a bit harder...

Now for all the efforts on her part to keep her family together , its going to be her older boy that is going to have to come to terms with the fact of the mass murders, and that his little brother was responsible.. poor bereft young man, I pray for him too- he really does need all our prayers as well..

Friday, 7 December 2012

Tonight I nearly died*

I have had a lovely day with a friend, out for lunch, clothes shopping and then in the dusky evening driving home.. I was happy with the way the day had gone, and not really thinking of much.. It was dark now, and there was a lot of people driving home  so traffic started to slow down and I suddenly thought I would try and overtake the car in front. So I started to make the move not realising that it was a two lane road! It was the sound of gravel and seeing the barrier shocked me into swerving back in line! Thank god there was room to get back into the queue-  realising that if any one had been asked to be witness to what happened they would have said ' she just drove into barrier!! '  Only now,sitting in my room do I realise how close I came to dying tonight! Just how fragile life can be, seconds turn into life changes  that can irrevocably turn into disaster*