Wednesday, 13 May 2015
not a good start to this week!
Apart from making the decision for our Dog Reiver to join the others at Rainbow Bridge, my week so far has been quite hard and will be until next Tuesday I think.. I had had a routine mammogram test four weeks ago and the next week was called back to have a secondary look at my breasts. However as you will have read, I had got Shingles and could not bear the thought of being moved around to be photographed, so put off the appointment until yesterday. When I arrived first in the queue I was photographed from all angles of my left breast. On screen it showed tiny white spots of calcium in a cluster and one other further back, but they then had me scanned, then back to be photographed again from all angles and this time a biopsy was decided. They injected me with a painkiller and then proceeded to take several shots of the cluster and took the results away for closer examination and for these results I have to wait until next Tuesday Normally I put big things like this on my mental back burner and gradually as the day advances, begin to deal with it at the time. This time however, I can say I am a little worried as they said it could be bad or a good cluster but won't know until looked at in my detail. Quite what I shall do if it is bad I am not sure. I have always believed that these things can be spread by cutting open and trying to extract, but now I am not sure what choice I shall make. Of course I know that our lives here have a certain length, but not sure I want mine to end as soon as this. Cancer is thought to be hugely affected by stress, and apart from Monday and Reiver's going, I have endured a very great deal of stress coping with the life changing situation that I was left in after my two spinal operations over four years ago. These clusters have come in the last three years, and I am sure that I was at my most stressed soon after returning home having to deal with myself and all that entailed. Still, it is Wednesday today and the sun is shining, so I am going to put a positive spin on things.. I am going to be with a dear friend looking at a house she is interested to buy and then take it easy all afternoon. John can go look after his grandsons after school and I will rest here and watch tv. My breast is not as sore as I expected and my dentures are becoming more easier to use so, I shall relax and place everything in the lap of the gods.. wish me luck for next tuesday?