In England there are many Pubs, or Public Houses that are closed every week because of recession and people just not going to the pubs frequently like they did in previous years.
The reason is of course, you can buy all the booze you wish to in the supermarkets and then sit and watch tv or films in your own home.- which indeed might be a worse scenario... but this is my reason.....
When I was growing up, my parents gave frequent parties and had a lot of fun, but I never ever saw a drunk person in all the years I was growing up.. There would always be drinks in the cocktail cabinet for people who came to dinner or parties and not once did I have to deal with anyone drunk. I never realised it at the time, but of course in the other world, people had terrible tales about the drink and how they had to live with the aftermath.
As I said, I never knew what it was like when someone liked drink more than he liked you or the family he created with you. Knowing how hard his life had been with a dad that drank too much, I would have expected him to be more aware... but of course he was not. His mother had got him and his siblings to sign 'the pledge' which of course, as soon as he was adult enough, he broke time and time again.
I ran away to live with him in London when there was a train strike going on. I told my parents that as my job was in London I had to stay up there with friends during the strike. I am sure that they didn't really believe me, but I went anyway and completely cut off communication with them. I was being so happy and loved up, it never occurred to me that I was causing them heartbreak and trouble and worry..
However, despite all my loved up feelings, I began to dread each day after work. I would meet him and we would go to a pub which he had chosen and where he would meet up with his friends and their girlfriends. The girls chatted away and smiled and laughed at their jokes.. as the bars became crowded and noisy and the smoke from cigarettes made your eyes water.. he would keep going up to the bar with his friends, bringing back drinks whilst I drank Ginger Beer and Lime cordial all evening.. each time it would be such a time waster... I would sit and try and be happy whilst all the time, keeping an eye on the clock to see how many more drinks he would have before the bell rang for last orders.... time took a long time going in those days.. it seemed so long and I was so bored with all of the noise and the chatter and the silly silly discussions that got worse by the hour.. when the bell finally rang.. they would be up and rush to the bar for the last bl....... drink which sometimes was two at a time...
You might ask where did all the money come from, as he was a student at London University and had a tiny grant.. His mother was very generous to him sending him money. and I was working at a secretarial job which paid a small salary.. we never had money for luxuries, like paying the rent, and looking back I can see why.... most of it went on booze and food.. Nowadays pubs are allowed opening times for all hours, but they have cut the cigarette smoking out, so its much easier to breath there.. but the drinks are still available for all if you have the money that is... its much more expensive for going out for a couple who meet up with friends..
The reason I hate pubs, is that it took hours until last orders, and god only knew how many drinks could be drunk in the time between 6pm and 11pm. and then getting a man/boy home in such a wobbly condition on the trains and tubes, was no picnic.. I hated the stupidity of it all, the waste of time and energy trying to be a good supportive girlfriend to him..
They say that all the signs that will break a marriage are also there in the early days, you just choose to avoid them.. hope that this is just a phase and it will all work out.. but the signs are there and if you choose to ignore them, then the price later on is so much higher than if you had just said.. 'enough, I do not enjoy this, so we should decide whether our relationship is worth all those drinks'...
Of course I did no such thing.. I smiled and loved and laughed too because it was not all bad, but it took me 23 years to stop being married to someone I loved so deeply and hard, and yet, as my young son said on the night before I got married for the second time..' I know dad loves us, but he threw us away for a bottle didn't he'? Those are hard words, but so true..
Like all good ideas, going to the pub, in moderation, can be a pleasant way to waste a few hours in congenial chat and laughs, but when it creeps up on you and you go every evening, its no longer a nice thing to do.. instead of a servant the drink becomes the master and nothing is ever the same again..
I have been thinking this through this evening, as there was a review on the radio of a play in London set in a public bar, and where the actors tell stories and have a lot of fun whilst they are all drinking... [this scenario is one that Publicans would have believe that its why they are in business, offering a good time for all..].
what they do not think about is when that person enjoying all the conviviality and drinks, how he is when he comes home, and how the family listen silently in fear as he starts to discuss something with the wife, that then gets to frustration as she seems not to be listening and then the noise grows louder and louder whilst he is trying to get her to understand what he is saying.. and the whole caboodle comes to a crashing halt... it might be that he has been calmed enough to sit down and has then fallen asleep, or worse he has started to attack his wife.. whilst the kids hear everything upstairs and lie frightened in the dark.. when it is all quiet, then they relax as they hear mother coming upstairs to bed..
Pubs sell booze and booze is evil when it is allowed to master the person drinking.. This is why I hate pubs and all the money in china would not make me change my mind.. I do use them to meet friends, but I have never been comfortable in them, ever since those days in the mid 1960's when I should have been reading all the signs and decided myself if I wanted to live a life with another person plus their weakness..
But then, if I had listened to me, I would never have had my five wonderful children and now their lovely children... but I do think how it all went wrong and I do regret that.
house
Friday, 26 April 2013
Friday, 29 March 2013
Well, what a palaver!!!!
Today is now Easter Friday, the day we give prayers for the sacrifice that Our Lord made for us all.. and I am seated at my computer, we have friends coming over we have not seen for over 5 years and they are arriving at exactly the time it is proper and fitting to be in Church whilst they pray for the Stations of the Cross, and I will be sitting down with them to tea and crumpets and cake.. what a terrible Christian I am turning out to be!**
However I do have a reason that I am not able to go to Church to observe the stations of the cross.
Let me go back to Tuesday when I went by train down to London, met up with an old Client friend, had lunch and then met another old friend from school to go to see the Manet Exhibition at the Royal Acadamy of Arts.. What a wonderful time I had that day, and lots and lots of walking, culminating in taking the Tube back to the main station.. Catching the Tube I think, is the reason for what happened next!!
Wednesday evening, in the kitchen, sitting down, not moving, went to place the brochure of the exhibition on the kitchen table, when the whole room swung sideways, as a listing ship and I almost fell off my chair... the room continued to swing around me for a few moments, then went back to normal.. Going to bed later as I lay down, again the room swung around and around as I pulled up the covers.. I was so scared, I thought I was going to have a stroke.. I managed to sleep ok all night, but when I got up in the morning I was still giddy and not able to walk properly having to hang on to walls to get around! As I said, I was very frightened and called the doctor's surgery to see if I could have emergency visit to see doc. She agreed, and John drove me over there. We waited around a bit until he could fit us in.. When he saw me and heard what had happened he told us that he was seeing two or three people a day with the same thing! It was a viral infection that attacks the inner ear,Labrynthitis so balance is all off, and could last up to two weeks... he gave me some anti dizzy tabs, and returning home I went and laid down all afternoon, only getting up in time to make supper. I went again to bed early, and feel a lot better, but still a bit giddy, so cannot go out and sit in Church like this, not knowing if I am going to keel over... so instead when a friend who lives a long way away decided to see if they could visit as they were in the area, of course I said yes it would be nice to see them after such a long time, since I was not going out to Church and we agreed on the time.
I am a Christian, but raised as a Catholic, I choose when and if I attend Mass. I believe quite strongly all that I have been told, but do it my way as and when its a need in me to go to Church. So, this afternoon will pass lovely with friends, and decorating of the front room will start tomorrow, cannot wait to see the changes the colour will make... so all in all, I am a relieved and happy bunny that my off balance episode was not a pre warning of a stroke to happen, and we shall see good friends after such a long time..
Happy Easter to everyone out there, God's blessing on you all..x
However I do have a reason that I am not able to go to Church to observe the stations of the cross.
Let me go back to Tuesday when I went by train down to London, met up with an old Client friend, had lunch and then met another old friend from school to go to see the Manet Exhibition at the Royal Acadamy of Arts.. What a wonderful time I had that day, and lots and lots of walking, culminating in taking the Tube back to the main station.. Catching the Tube I think, is the reason for what happened next!!
Wednesday evening, in the kitchen, sitting down, not moving, went to place the brochure of the exhibition on the kitchen table, when the whole room swung sideways, as a listing ship and I almost fell off my chair... the room continued to swing around me for a few moments, then went back to normal.. Going to bed later as I lay down, again the room swung around and around as I pulled up the covers.. I was so scared, I thought I was going to have a stroke.. I managed to sleep ok all night, but when I got up in the morning I was still giddy and not able to walk properly having to hang on to walls to get around! As I said, I was very frightened and called the doctor's surgery to see if I could have emergency visit to see doc. She agreed, and John drove me over there. We waited around a bit until he could fit us in.. When he saw me and heard what had happened he told us that he was seeing two or three people a day with the same thing! It was a viral infection that attacks the inner ear,Labrynthitis so balance is all off, and could last up to two weeks... he gave me some anti dizzy tabs, and returning home I went and laid down all afternoon, only getting up in time to make supper. I went again to bed early, and feel a lot better, but still a bit giddy, so cannot go out and sit in Church like this, not knowing if I am going to keel over... so instead when a friend who lives a long way away decided to see if they could visit as they were in the area, of course I said yes it would be nice to see them after such a long time, since I was not going out to Church and we agreed on the time.
I am a Christian, but raised as a Catholic, I choose when and if I attend Mass. I believe quite strongly all that I have been told, but do it my way as and when its a need in me to go to Church. So, this afternoon will pass lovely with friends, and decorating of the front room will start tomorrow, cannot wait to see the changes the colour will make... so all in all, I am a relieved and happy bunny that my off balance episode was not a pre warning of a stroke to happen, and we shall see good friends after such a long time..
Happy Easter to everyone out there, God's blessing on you all..x
Friday, 1 March 2013
life changing moment
This day 46 years ago, after a rather traumatic birthing, my son was delivered and was whisked away for Cot rest, as he had had to be a forceps delivery. He weighed in at 7lbs 8 oz's and was instant love the second I met him. I had of course got pregnant first, then married when three months gone. I had a quiet wedding at Kensington Registry office where the rich and famous often go to get married. I was 21 and blissfully in love with a student.. no money, no career plans, just was going to be a mum. My husband was 20 and at University in London studying Philosophy.. what we were going to do for the future, was all unknown and I sailed into these uncharted waters without fear, as you do, when you know no better!
I had gone to one lesson on birthing a baby and decided that apart from the diagrams, which made no sense to me, the fact that the lady taking the lesson was unmarried and had not birthed herself - I could do better things with my time than worry about all that was going to happen.! We shared a large flat in London with several other students, and hardly managed to be paying our share of the rent... we were as poor as church mice... but I was going to be a mother.
Then had to tell my parents that I was getting married.. I rang them the night before the date, and I remember how my mother cried that she had not been involved and that her friends had not been invited.. callously I told her 'its my wedding' I don't need to impress your friends*
I shrink inside me now, knowing how hurt that must have made her feel.. but at that time I was very headstrong and so sure I could make the right decisions. So, we got married.. had a sort of party afterwards with our friends... most of them students and poor,. so it was a massive curry that someone had cooked, and lots of cheap beer for my reception-
My baby I discovered would be due the end of February.. this fact I knew from the doctor when he first examined me. I had left it until 5 months before I registered with a doctor.. he was very angry at my leaving it so late in the pregnancy, but blissfully I ignored him and was totally wrapped up in my new state of motherhood. We managed to get through all the hard times, with my husband being away all day at University and I did a variety of temp jobs to keep us going .
We lived in 2 rooms of a house, and waited until it was time. The due day came and passed, and then the next evening,my tummy started getting tighter and tighter until it was as hard as a football... then it relaxed and then the tightening started again. Whilst my husband was trying to complete his essay, the feelings grew and grew until I had to ask him to go and find a telephone and call the ambulance. I was still not feeling any pain, but the ambulance men put me on a trolley to wheel to their transport, and we both went to the hospital.
Because I was in such early stages, they then sent my husband home to wait.. It was 3am now and he had to find his own way home which I know took him a long time by hitchhiking
I was still lying in my bed, when I heard a person start to scream and shout for at least half an hour, and then I was struck by the thought that this birthing lark might hurt quite a lot.!!!!
... it honestly had not impressed itself on my mind before!
At 7.30 they came in with a cup of tea, which as I reached for it... I could not take it, as the pain suddenly escalated and there I was climbing this mountain of pain that was like nothing I'd ever felt before... The day passed, and the pain was immense so they gave me drugs to ease it, but it caused me to try and escape them as I had now decided I was in a James Bond movie and was being held prisoner! I clearly remember having a foot on the floor, and two nurses holding me back from running off...
Of course, now you see why I had to have forceps, I was such a ninny and totally lost the plot!!!
At 4.30 in the afternoon this poor little baby was dragged out of me, and he looked grey when I first saw him... when he had rallied, and was all cleaned up and wrapped up in a towel to meet me for the first time, my heart literally turned over... I could not believe this little one was mine... his eyes looked out without fear, and I examined as you do, all his parts, his ears, his nose, the shape of the head... all of it was quite magical to take in..
I had many many stitches, but it was all worth it, I had become a mother of a darling little boy... who today has turned 46 years old, lives the other side of the world, and when the latest baby arrives in April, will be the proud father of three sons..
The day that changed my life was full of pain and hurt, but the reward was meeting that darling boy and falling in love completely and totally with him forever.
I had gone to one lesson on birthing a baby and decided that apart from the diagrams, which made no sense to me, the fact that the lady taking the lesson was unmarried and had not birthed herself - I could do better things with my time than worry about all that was going to happen.! We shared a large flat in London with several other students, and hardly managed to be paying our share of the rent... we were as poor as church mice... but I was going to be a mother.
Then had to tell my parents that I was getting married.. I rang them the night before the date, and I remember how my mother cried that she had not been involved and that her friends had not been invited.. callously I told her 'its my wedding' I don't need to impress your friends*
I shrink inside me now, knowing how hurt that must have made her feel.. but at that time I was very headstrong and so sure I could make the right decisions. So, we got married.. had a sort of party afterwards with our friends... most of them students and poor,. so it was a massive curry that someone had cooked, and lots of cheap beer for my reception-
My baby I discovered would be due the end of February.. this fact I knew from the doctor when he first examined me. I had left it until 5 months before I registered with a doctor.. he was very angry at my leaving it so late in the pregnancy, but blissfully I ignored him and was totally wrapped up in my new state of motherhood. We managed to get through all the hard times, with my husband being away all day at University and I did a variety of temp jobs to keep us going .
We lived in 2 rooms of a house, and waited until it was time. The due day came and passed, and then the next evening,my tummy started getting tighter and tighter until it was as hard as a football... then it relaxed and then the tightening started again. Whilst my husband was trying to complete his essay, the feelings grew and grew until I had to ask him to go and find a telephone and call the ambulance. I was still not feeling any pain, but the ambulance men put me on a trolley to wheel to their transport, and we both went to the hospital.
Because I was in such early stages, they then sent my husband home to wait.. It was 3am now and he had to find his own way home which I know took him a long time by hitchhiking
I was still lying in my bed, when I heard a person start to scream and shout for at least half an hour, and then I was struck by the thought that this birthing lark might hurt quite a lot.!!!!
... it honestly had not impressed itself on my mind before!
At 7.30 they came in with a cup of tea, which as I reached for it... I could not take it, as the pain suddenly escalated and there I was climbing this mountain of pain that was like nothing I'd ever felt before... The day passed, and the pain was immense so they gave me drugs to ease it, but it caused me to try and escape them as I had now decided I was in a James Bond movie and was being held prisoner! I clearly remember having a foot on the floor, and two nurses holding me back from running off...
Of course, now you see why I had to have forceps, I was such a ninny and totally lost the plot!!!
At 4.30 in the afternoon this poor little baby was dragged out of me, and he looked grey when I first saw him... when he had rallied, and was all cleaned up and wrapped up in a towel to meet me for the first time, my heart literally turned over... I could not believe this little one was mine... his eyes looked out without fear, and I examined as you do, all his parts, his ears, his nose, the shape of the head... all of it was quite magical to take in..
I had many many stitches, but it was all worth it, I had become a mother of a darling little boy... who today has turned 46 years old, lives the other side of the world, and when the latest baby arrives in April, will be the proud father of three sons..
The day that changed my life was full of pain and hurt, but the reward was meeting that darling boy and falling in love completely and totally with him forever.
Wednesday, 13 February 2013
Arguments
I hate arguments, especially ones that I know I cannot win.. although the sane side of me says about the subject....'so what!'
My husband likes to delegate a lot of the boring easy things to do, so it means I do his banking, collect the books from the library when they need changing.. This means that I bring back books that will somehow suit both of us to read. Each library card entitles the reading of up to 15 books! Normally I manage to get out and stagger home with a basket full of books which add up to about 9 in total. This generally means that I have chosen a few that might suit him, but certainly I think I can have a go at reading them all. I am a fast reader and often have several books going at the same time. We have a home full of books on all sorts of different subjects... because another one of my many weaknesses, is getting books from Charity shops.. Ah well, that's another story,..
The reason that I am seated at my PC, is that I am quietly and not so quietly stewing in annoyance... annoyed that such a things would impress on itself.. but anyway.. here's the thing.
I got this book which is written about an Anglo Saxon girl, during the times of the Norman Conquest when William came over from Normandy and took control over England. The book looked interesting, and I thought he might even enjoy a book of the times he is so interested in.. For a whole afternoon all the books have been on the kitchen table, and this evening he picked this book up, only after reading the back details, threw it back onto the table and hissed..... 'I can't read this, they have got it all wrong... before, during and after the Norman conquest, the people were the English, not Anglo-Saxons!!!!!
His main interest is this period as I said, but this vehement explosion about Anglo Saxon versus English took me quite by surprise... I felt annoyed that I had taken the time to find a book set in the period he knows so much about, only to have it thrown aside in annoyance at its inaccuracy..
Even listening to the Radio, he will turn it off when historical facts are not just as he knows they should be. [Admittedly radio does down talk facts in order to make it easier for the listener, but he really just explodes - to my mind quite unnecessarily...] however I felt slighted at his reaction to the book I had chosen and came upstairs to my computer to calm down and vent here, dear people, on my machine.
He is generally the most mild mannered and unassuming person, and has lots of qualities that I do admire... but get the facts wrong historically and he is a different person!
I do not like engaging in arguments, I think it solves nothing, if you both hold a different view.. I love history, and for me Anglo Saxon was a period that I understood to be before and during Norman times, but its obviously wrong factually.
History is not the only subject that we do raise our arguments about.. Religion is another, and Politics... so these subjects are rarely discussed here as we both know that we shall both disagree forever....
I was going to write a little Valentine verse today to give to him tomorrow, but the way I am feeling at the moment, its best not to put pen to paper ha ha..
My husband likes to delegate a lot of the boring easy things to do, so it means I do his banking, collect the books from the library when they need changing.. This means that I bring back books that will somehow suit both of us to read. Each library card entitles the reading of up to 15 books! Normally I manage to get out and stagger home with a basket full of books which add up to about 9 in total. This generally means that I have chosen a few that might suit him, but certainly I think I can have a go at reading them all. I am a fast reader and often have several books going at the same time. We have a home full of books on all sorts of different subjects... because another one of my many weaknesses, is getting books from Charity shops.. Ah well, that's another story,..
The reason that I am seated at my PC, is that I am quietly and not so quietly stewing in annoyance... annoyed that such a things would impress on itself.. but anyway.. here's the thing.
I got this book which is written about an Anglo Saxon girl, during the times of the Norman Conquest when William came over from Normandy and took control over England. The book looked interesting, and I thought he might even enjoy a book of the times he is so interested in.. For a whole afternoon all the books have been on the kitchen table, and this evening he picked this book up, only after reading the back details, threw it back onto the table and hissed..... 'I can't read this, they have got it all wrong... before, during and after the Norman conquest, the people were the English, not Anglo-Saxons!!!!!
His main interest is this period as I said, but this vehement explosion about Anglo Saxon versus English took me quite by surprise... I felt annoyed that I had taken the time to find a book set in the period he knows so much about, only to have it thrown aside in annoyance at its inaccuracy..
Even listening to the Radio, he will turn it off when historical facts are not just as he knows they should be. [Admittedly radio does down talk facts in order to make it easier for the listener, but he really just explodes - to my mind quite unnecessarily...] however I felt slighted at his reaction to the book I had chosen and came upstairs to my computer to calm down and vent here, dear people, on my machine.
He is generally the most mild mannered and unassuming person, and has lots of qualities that I do admire... but get the facts wrong historically and he is a different person!
I do not like engaging in arguments, I think it solves nothing, if you both hold a different view.. I love history, and for me Anglo Saxon was a period that I understood to be before and during Norman times, but its obviously wrong factually.
History is not the only subject that we do raise our arguments about.. Religion is another, and Politics... so these subjects are rarely discussed here as we both know that we shall both disagree forever....
I was going to write a little Valentine verse today to give to him tomorrow, but the way I am feeling at the moment, its best not to put pen to paper ha ha..
Sunday, 20 January 2013
Today
I was suddenly aware of the fact that although I had kept up with others in Blogland, and left remarks, I had not actually written anything myself and we are almost three weeks into this New Year. Because of John's Accountancy Firm, he and his staff are usually so busy in January getting all the clients' accounts stowed away with the Inland Revenue's offices, that our New Year feels that it actually starts at the beginning of February.. It is a bit better now that John has semi retired, but there is still a lot to do.Added to this, he has been unwell since Christmas fighting a recurrent cold and cough and doesn't feel at his best either.
We haven't gone out at all today, the snow has settled and it is very cold, so we have sat by the fire and read books and drunk endless cups of tea to keep warm. I have also made bread and the dinner is in the oven so I thought I would grab these few moments to sit down and tune into Blogland.
My father was a school teacher and my mother worked in Shops selling high fashion clothes. She enjoyed her work and my father loved being a teacher. Our lives were pretty ordered and followed a routine.. At the weekends because mother also worked on a Saturday, we would travel to where she worked and meet her after she finished and go to the pictures after having a meal out. That was magical and so much to look forward to. I remember when money got short and they made a decision not to do the Saturday picture routine, I thought I would really really miss it so much. surprisingly there was plenty of other things to do, and the routine was superceded by another activity after we met Mother from work.
My parents both worked very hard, and of course my dad would be working every evening in marking the school work of his students. Our house was warm and solid and safe and we never really felt we missed out in anything. I guess in the 50's and early 60's we were all in the same boat, trying to keep everything going and doing the best we could. Of course it was not until much later that we moved to a house with actual central heating in stored. Most of the houses had fireplaces for coal fires, but that didn't heat up much. I can still remember going to bed, running across the lino floor and leaping into bed where I would lie shivering and shaking until my body warmed the bed up then I could sleep!!
y parents like to entertain every so often. They would invite their friends over for a meal and then afterwards, my dad would get his violin out and my mother would sing, with him playing the music to accompany her. She had a beautiful soprano voice, which was very similar to that of Maria Callas, and she did so love to sing. We would all listen, then the other guests would perform some little ditty, then horror of horrors it was my turn and my brother's to do our turn.. When we were very small, the star piece was 'I tort I taw a pussycat'!! from some Walt Disney character and it seemed to make everyone laugh a lot as we were so small... then it became a solo piece. I did have soprano voice too, and was chosen to be lead singer at my Xmas concert when I was 9[ at that age my mother sang in Drury Lane Theatre, which she kept reminding us-!!]-- anyway as I got older, in order to perform I would only do it standing in the hall way, face pressed against the wall in order not to see anyone.. odd behaviour I know, but singing for guests overwhelmed me at that stage.[up to early teens].
Looking back, our lives were so simple then. We had radio for listening to.. games to play inside and outside the house. We also read a great deal, which was a wonderful escape to lands we travelled with the writers, and all the adventures we could pretend to be part of. I read avidly all my childhood and loved to seize any moments to bury my head in books.
Saturday mornings, Dad would take us to the library to choose the books for the week. Each time I went in, my stomach would feel like water with excitement as I was in a whirl trying to choose what to take home. That feeling has never left me and even today all these years later, that same feeling rears its head every time I go to the library!
This society we live in is becoming more mechanised in its interaction.. its all with machines.. if you walk along any street, the betting is, that at least every other person is tuned in via their headpieces to a phone chatting and carrying on conversations as they walk, or listening to music. Only the older generation seem to have time to look up and smile and say hallo as they pass. We are tuned into another world, almost 24 hours out of 24.
Because we only had a radio, and didn't get a TV until I was into my late teens, we seem to have had time to interact with others so much more. People did talk to each other and tried to do their best in getting on in life.
We were expected to go to school to learn, take exams, then decide on a career, or if you were really really clever, you went to University. Of course we were also fortunate that at that time, England was building herself up again after the war, and so jobs were easily had and changed and moving on to another job was easy. This is not the case for our young ones coming up to working age. It is hard, but their lives are going to be harder in the long run than ours were, despite all the gadgets and computer interaction going on. The computer has taken the need out for using people to achieve the same results. With Computers they can work on a skeleton staff and achieve good results at less cost. What future do our young ones have to look forward to? Depressingly I think its all going to blow up in our faces.
Having the choice of having children, means that many couples do not choose to.. However,in the cycle of things children is where it all happens.. if you don't have enough children produced in every generation, there will not be enough fee earners to to generate the money a government needs to manage all their care programmes and benefits. We need to take stock before its too late, and decide what the next generation will do, how they will do it, and what the results will be... Traditionally, it seems to me, that each generation says to itself , 'well it doesn't effect me, so leave it to the next ones who will have to deal with it' That is not really a good answer. We have to care about the world, the children we are bringing up and how to manage a balance society.
When you are young, the future seems so far away, and yet it all catches up with you very fast. We need to sit down and think about what we are leaving for our future kids to deal with..... Yes, there is Global Warming- but on the ground right at this time, Wars are being fought all over... Do they mean anything to us...yes, they do, because we get involved in sending troops out to help... create charities to try and feed starving people...
I think we have to stop trying to solve World problems and take a good look at us and our people in this country... we need to stop looking at the far horizons, get focused on what needs doing in this country first..
We have to examine why our kids are leaving school not reading or writing, and then not able to get jobs. We have a whole raft of infrastructure that needs repairing... the wonderful things that the Georgians and Victorians did, all need repairing and restructuring.. Why aren't our jobless people doing this and in doing it, earning a proper wage.?. We have schools that need repairing, hospitals that need so too.. all kinds of buildings that could be put to better use than lying idle and falling into dangerous disuse-- in this present day, we should have NO homeless people at all.. get all the empty houses and get them ready to live in- put the homeless to work in order to have a roof over their head....Make sure the benefits are for food, not misbought on booze... get the drunkards and the druggies something to make them feel good about themselves and they will never need to get stewed again ...they only use these drugs as an escape from a lousy useless life.. in being involved they will gain their self respect back.. it all could change, but it needs a really stong leadership who will not be swayed and who will get back to the nitty gritty of dealing with life.
Change is never an easy thing... but this world has to change, get its priorities right... stop sending money where it is used in war and fights about leadership in countries. far from these shores.... let them all take back control, make them all accountable for their anger and with no extra money to prop up the regimes, we might see some ground rules established and bring back to order.
This might mean that the strongest will take over and the West might not like the choices that they make. but if we are not supporting either side, World trade does continue..
why do we have to send money to prop them up?... make them responsible for their own actions.. if they choose war, then they will run out of money and will have to stop.... of course it means the populations will have to find a way to survive, but before England became a World power, all these places managed to get along....They call destruction of the population the cost of war... we have to leave these countries to find their own balance, We cannot do it for them!!!
If then, England and America and all the other Westernised Powers agreed to withdraw and focus on the needs of their own people, I truly believe that making the decisions to be more home focused, we shall create a country, where our own balance is restored, where there will be jobs as we shall be rebuilding where we need to, strengthen our infrastructure and develop our housing and all other works.... we shall become with Balance, a nation totally wholly in agreement and our kids will have a future to look forward to.
We haven't gone out at all today, the snow has settled and it is very cold, so we have sat by the fire and read books and drunk endless cups of tea to keep warm. I have also made bread and the dinner is in the oven so I thought I would grab these few moments to sit down and tune into Blogland.
My father was a school teacher and my mother worked in Shops selling high fashion clothes. She enjoyed her work and my father loved being a teacher. Our lives were pretty ordered and followed a routine.. At the weekends because mother also worked on a Saturday, we would travel to where she worked and meet her after she finished and go to the pictures after having a meal out. That was magical and so much to look forward to. I remember when money got short and they made a decision not to do the Saturday picture routine, I thought I would really really miss it so much. surprisingly there was plenty of other things to do, and the routine was superceded by another activity after we met Mother from work.
My parents both worked very hard, and of course my dad would be working every evening in marking the school work of his students. Our house was warm and solid and safe and we never really felt we missed out in anything. I guess in the 50's and early 60's we were all in the same boat, trying to keep everything going and doing the best we could. Of course it was not until much later that we moved to a house with actual central heating in stored. Most of the houses had fireplaces for coal fires, but that didn't heat up much. I can still remember going to bed, running across the lino floor and leaping into bed where I would lie shivering and shaking until my body warmed the bed up then I could sleep!!
y parents like to entertain every so often. They would invite their friends over for a meal and then afterwards, my dad would get his violin out and my mother would sing, with him playing the music to accompany her. She had a beautiful soprano voice, which was very similar to that of Maria Callas, and she did so love to sing. We would all listen, then the other guests would perform some little ditty, then horror of horrors it was my turn and my brother's to do our turn.. When we were very small, the star piece was 'I tort I taw a pussycat'!! from some Walt Disney character and it seemed to make everyone laugh a lot as we were so small... then it became a solo piece. I did have soprano voice too, and was chosen to be lead singer at my Xmas concert when I was 9[ at that age my mother sang in Drury Lane Theatre, which she kept reminding us-!!]-- anyway as I got older, in order to perform I would only do it standing in the hall way, face pressed against the wall in order not to see anyone.. odd behaviour I know, but singing for guests overwhelmed me at that stage.[up to early teens].
Looking back, our lives were so simple then. We had radio for listening to.. games to play inside and outside the house. We also read a great deal, which was a wonderful escape to lands we travelled with the writers, and all the adventures we could pretend to be part of. I read avidly all my childhood and loved to seize any moments to bury my head in books.
Saturday mornings, Dad would take us to the library to choose the books for the week. Each time I went in, my stomach would feel like water with excitement as I was in a whirl trying to choose what to take home. That feeling has never left me and even today all these years later, that same feeling rears its head every time I go to the library!
This society we live in is becoming more mechanised in its interaction.. its all with machines.. if you walk along any street, the betting is, that at least every other person is tuned in via their headpieces to a phone chatting and carrying on conversations as they walk, or listening to music. Only the older generation seem to have time to look up and smile and say hallo as they pass. We are tuned into another world, almost 24 hours out of 24.
Because we only had a radio, and didn't get a TV until I was into my late teens, we seem to have had time to interact with others so much more. People did talk to each other and tried to do their best in getting on in life.
We were expected to go to school to learn, take exams, then decide on a career, or if you were really really clever, you went to University. Of course we were also fortunate that at that time, England was building herself up again after the war, and so jobs were easily had and changed and moving on to another job was easy. This is not the case for our young ones coming up to working age. It is hard, but their lives are going to be harder in the long run than ours were, despite all the gadgets and computer interaction going on. The computer has taken the need out for using people to achieve the same results. With Computers they can work on a skeleton staff and achieve good results at less cost. What future do our young ones have to look forward to? Depressingly I think its all going to blow up in our faces.
Having the choice of having children, means that many couples do not choose to.. However,in the cycle of things children is where it all happens.. if you don't have enough children produced in every generation, there will not be enough fee earners to to generate the money a government needs to manage all their care programmes and benefits. We need to take stock before its too late, and decide what the next generation will do, how they will do it, and what the results will be... Traditionally, it seems to me, that each generation says to itself , 'well it doesn't effect me, so leave it to the next ones who will have to deal with it' That is not really a good answer. We have to care about the world, the children we are bringing up and how to manage a balance society.
When you are young, the future seems so far away, and yet it all catches up with you very fast. We need to sit down and think about what we are leaving for our future kids to deal with..... Yes, there is Global Warming- but on the ground right at this time, Wars are being fought all over... Do they mean anything to us...yes, they do, because we get involved in sending troops out to help... create charities to try and feed starving people...
I think we have to stop trying to solve World problems and take a good look at us and our people in this country... we need to stop looking at the far horizons, get focused on what needs doing in this country first..
We have to examine why our kids are leaving school not reading or writing, and then not able to get jobs. We have a whole raft of infrastructure that needs repairing... the wonderful things that the Georgians and Victorians did, all need repairing and restructuring.. Why aren't our jobless people doing this and in doing it, earning a proper wage.?. We have schools that need repairing, hospitals that need so too.. all kinds of buildings that could be put to better use than lying idle and falling into dangerous disuse-- in this present day, we should have NO homeless people at all.. get all the empty houses and get them ready to live in- put the homeless to work in order to have a roof over their head....Make sure the benefits are for food, not misbought on booze... get the drunkards and the druggies something to make them feel good about themselves and they will never need to get stewed again ...they only use these drugs as an escape from a lousy useless life.. in being involved they will gain their self respect back.. it all could change, but it needs a really stong leadership who will not be swayed and who will get back to the nitty gritty of dealing with life.
Change is never an easy thing... but this world has to change, get its priorities right... stop sending money where it is used in war and fights about leadership in countries. far from these shores.... let them all take back control, make them all accountable for their anger and with no extra money to prop up the regimes, we might see some ground rules established and bring back to order.
This might mean that the strongest will take over and the West might not like the choices that they make. but if we are not supporting either side, World trade does continue..
why do we have to send money to prop them up?... make them responsible for their own actions.. if they choose war, then they will run out of money and will have to stop.... of course it means the populations will have to find a way to survive, but before England became a World power, all these places managed to get along....They call destruction of the population the cost of war... we have to leave these countries to find their own balance, We cannot do it for them!!!
If then, England and America and all the other Westernised Powers agreed to withdraw and focus on the needs of their own people, I truly believe that making the decisions to be more home focused, we shall create a country, where our own balance is restored, where there will be jobs as we shall be rebuilding where we need to, strengthen our infrastructure and develop our housing and all other works.... we shall become with Balance, a nation totally wholly in agreement and our kids will have a future to look forward to.
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
Well, I went and missed it!! my first anniversary of blogging was on 30th December.. another senior moment!!
Another senior moment meant that I missed the first anniversary of my blogging... for some reason I had thought it started in January last year, but close, not the date.... so, here is another post actually all about nothing....
Our Christmas was rather splendid but I got paid in spades for having so much enjoyment! On the 30th we attended a party at the house next door, which we rent out. Our tenants have proved very nice and good, and not much trouble.. It was an easy party and everyone very friendly.
However they did comment that their Christmas had been rather ruined by having a virus that was going around... everyone said, how good it was that they were better..so we carried on.. However this virus is quite contagious, and of course of all people, I went and managed to use up yesterday being sick and running to the toilet all day, staying in bed as I felt so weak!!
It was not a pleasant way to spend a day, but with the sunshine this morning I got up and have managed to stay on my feet without much trouble, although I have not eaten at all, just cups of tea and water.. Its quite amazing how the sunshine can make you feel so much stronger and more positive, it certainly encouraged me out of bed, that's for sure.
Of course having a virus that is catching, I had to cancel the luncheon party we were going to today, which is sad as we all have such fun when we meet up.. but they would not have thanked me for bringing it into their midst.
[which brings me to another thought..]
.
Every year for many many years, this country England, and no doubt other countries too, endured the plague each summer, when the heat encouraged the spread of the illness which led to death in so many cases.
There is a little village in Derbyshire not far from here, which made the amazingly difficult decision to not leave the village once the plague had descended on it. I believe it was the Vicar that persuaded his villagers to be strong and not give in to their wish to run away from it. What courage that must have taken for them to stay put! The next villages would leave food out for them on the other side of the bank of the river, so they did not starve..
A large number of that congregation died due to the pestilence, even I have read, the Vicar's wife and several members of his family. But the plague did not travel further, and stopped at that little village deep in the heart of the Derbyshire countryside. I cannot imagine how brave they were in keeping to themselves and waiting for it all to pass. I know that the first idea would be to flee, but in staying put, their bravery allowed other lives to be lived. An enormous cost they paid, but they did it and will be remembered for all time for their sacrifice.
The viruses that we come across these days are small in comparison, but no less lethal for some. I'm just glad that mine was for 24 hours, and I am hail and hearty again to welcome the start of another new year... 2013, I wonder what joys you will bring us.. I hope that we shall have more joy than tears, that's for sure!
Our Christmas was rather splendid but I got paid in spades for having so much enjoyment! On the 30th we attended a party at the house next door, which we rent out. Our tenants have proved very nice and good, and not much trouble.. It was an easy party and everyone very friendly.
However they did comment that their Christmas had been rather ruined by having a virus that was going around... everyone said, how good it was that they were better..so we carried on.. However this virus is quite contagious, and of course of all people, I went and managed to use up yesterday being sick and running to the toilet all day, staying in bed as I felt so weak!!
It was not a pleasant way to spend a day, but with the sunshine this morning I got up and have managed to stay on my feet without much trouble, although I have not eaten at all, just cups of tea and water.. Its quite amazing how the sunshine can make you feel so much stronger and more positive, it certainly encouraged me out of bed, that's for sure.
Of course having a virus that is catching, I had to cancel the luncheon party we were going to today, which is sad as we all have such fun when we meet up.. but they would not have thanked me for bringing it into their midst.
[which brings me to another thought..]
.
Every year for many many years, this country England, and no doubt other countries too, endured the plague each summer, when the heat encouraged the spread of the illness which led to death in so many cases.
There is a little village in Derbyshire not far from here, which made the amazingly difficult decision to not leave the village once the plague had descended on it. I believe it was the Vicar that persuaded his villagers to be strong and not give in to their wish to run away from it. What courage that must have taken for them to stay put! The next villages would leave food out for them on the other side of the bank of the river, so they did not starve..
A large number of that congregation died due to the pestilence, even I have read, the Vicar's wife and several members of his family. But the plague did not travel further, and stopped at that little village deep in the heart of the Derbyshire countryside. I cannot imagine how brave they were in keeping to themselves and waiting for it all to pass. I know that the first idea would be to flee, but in staying put, their bravery allowed other lives to be lived. An enormous cost they paid, but they did it and will be remembered for all time for their sacrifice.
The viruses that we come across these days are small in comparison, but no less lethal for some. I'm just glad that mine was for 24 hours, and I am hail and hearty again to welcome the start of another new year... 2013, I wonder what joys you will bring us.. I hope that we shall have more joy than tears, that's for sure!
Saturday, 29 December 2012
What a Happy Christmas we all had!
I know that I am not alone in just having had a Christmas that proved to be very happy indeed.
Christmas Eve my son and his wife arrived, then my other son John entered the house,then my husband's daughter and her husband and his parents and their children were all here ready to attend the Christmas Carol Service starting at 6 pm in the evening. The weather was cold, but not raining, and so we walked to the church which is literally two mins away!
The church was absolutely packed.. All the children were given a face mask representing the kings, the sheep, the sheppards,the angels and of course Mary and Joseph.. As the service processed along, each of them came into the centre isle and were made part of the tale.. It took just over and hour with the singing and the performing, and everyone left the church feeling very connected and ready for Christmas to begin.
John's daughter and family then left us, taking their presents with them, and we settled down to a quiet evening all chatting and laughing away. I was a little anxious as I was told that I had nothing to do, Amy my daughter in law and Rebecca were going to be doing it all.
We sat in the kitchen whilst Chris my son, and Amy prepared the vegetables for the morning... I felt anxious as I was out of the loop.. Rebecca would be bringing the turkey in the morning driving over from Oxford which is just over a hundred miles away.
Spot on time, she rang the bell and trouped in with her two sons and daughter.. more laughter and chatting as I was told to sit in the front room and make sure the table was laid!!! When the meal came, it was utterly scrumptious and really and truly a feast... ending not with Xmas pud, but a round wreath of meringue and fruits of the forest with almond flakes and cream to top it.. Swooningly marvellous!..
In the evening we played a quiz that Amy had prepared and divided us into three teams, John and little John being one.. they actually won the quiz, although the other teams consisted of three persons, so we should have had the advantage... Anyway it took a long time and many sections to complete and the evening just swung by*
Boxing day was excellent too, as although Rebecca and her brood left around lunch time, and so did Little John my youngest[ we call him little John to differentiate from big John my husband,] we still had Amy and Chris with us, and our young neighbour came around with her husband and young daughter and more cups of tea and endless cakes made the afternoon whizz by..
Today we went next door for drinks and nibbles -these nice people rent from us and are the perfect lodgers.. we met up with other friends and had another super day..
I cannot believe how it is almost Sunday, Christmas is over, the New Year beckons, and we have all been so very happy in each others' company, and although the booze did flow, it wasn't making anyone be silly.. Actually I think that is the main cause for my anxiety, having booze around... but with my lot they do it, and don't get silly or argumentative.. so I should really relax about having it around.. just another hangup from other days before..
I do hope that you all have had a good time too... Its really not about getting gifts, because the most precious gift of all to give your kids and grand kids, is your time, love and attention unguarded and total in depth to them.. They will not remember the presents, but the feelings, the warmth, and the laughter that they heard and felt when they visited together at your house.
I may not be rich, but all the people that are close to me, family and friends, cost nothing but are the most precious things I carry in my heart.
TO all my friends and fellow bloggers, I hope that this coming year is going to be a super one for all... that it will lift our hearts and fill them with joy and strength to cope with whatever we have to face.. next month I will have been blogging for one year.. it feels like a lifetime already.. but how pleased I am that I have found you all in blogland!
Christmas Eve my son and his wife arrived, then my other son John entered the house,then my husband's daughter and her husband and his parents and their children were all here ready to attend the Christmas Carol Service starting at 6 pm in the evening. The weather was cold, but not raining, and so we walked to the church which is literally two mins away!
The church was absolutely packed.. All the children were given a face mask representing the kings, the sheep, the sheppards,the angels and of course Mary and Joseph.. As the service processed along, each of them came into the centre isle and were made part of the tale.. It took just over and hour with the singing and the performing, and everyone left the church feeling very connected and ready for Christmas to begin.
John's daughter and family then left us, taking their presents with them, and we settled down to a quiet evening all chatting and laughing away. I was a little anxious as I was told that I had nothing to do, Amy my daughter in law and Rebecca were going to be doing it all.
We sat in the kitchen whilst Chris my son, and Amy prepared the vegetables for the morning... I felt anxious as I was out of the loop.. Rebecca would be bringing the turkey in the morning driving over from Oxford which is just over a hundred miles away.
Spot on time, she rang the bell and trouped in with her two sons and daughter.. more laughter and chatting as I was told to sit in the front room and make sure the table was laid!!! When the meal came, it was utterly scrumptious and really and truly a feast... ending not with Xmas pud, but a round wreath of meringue and fruits of the forest with almond flakes and cream to top it.. Swooningly marvellous!..
In the evening we played a quiz that Amy had prepared and divided us into three teams, John and little John being one.. they actually won the quiz, although the other teams consisted of three persons, so we should have had the advantage... Anyway it took a long time and many sections to complete and the evening just swung by*
Boxing day was excellent too, as although Rebecca and her brood left around lunch time, and so did Little John my youngest[ we call him little John to differentiate from big John my husband,] we still had Amy and Chris with us, and our young neighbour came around with her husband and young daughter and more cups of tea and endless cakes made the afternoon whizz by..
Today we went next door for drinks and nibbles -these nice people rent from us and are the perfect lodgers.. we met up with other friends and had another super day..
I cannot believe how it is almost Sunday, Christmas is over, the New Year beckons, and we have all been so very happy in each others' company, and although the booze did flow, it wasn't making anyone be silly.. Actually I think that is the main cause for my anxiety, having booze around... but with my lot they do it, and don't get silly or argumentative.. so I should really relax about having it around.. just another hangup from other days before..
I do hope that you all have had a good time too... Its really not about getting gifts, because the most precious gift of all to give your kids and grand kids, is your time, love and attention unguarded and total in depth to them.. They will not remember the presents, but the feelings, the warmth, and the laughter that they heard and felt when they visited together at your house.
I may not be rich, but all the people that are close to me, family and friends, cost nothing but are the most precious things I carry in my heart.
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