ironing

I have chucked out all the folded unironed clothes in the bathroom cupboard and placed this huge pile of clean items in the second largest bedroom, and set up my ironing board and steam iron and made a start of getting it all sorted and de cluttered and ironed. I don't mind ironing as I have good equipment, its how do I fit it in with all the other things I can do during the day... like baking the bread, making the meals, taking the dogs out, visiting the charity shops and generally being occupied not to say anything about the time I need to put in on my own business... Where do the other people get their time from? It has been a long time since I  did a whole lot of ironing, as with the children no longer at home, its just me and the husband... but I swear I have more washing and ironing to do then when all the five kids lived at home!! The washing machine grinds its way daily, the pulley up on the ceiling comes down and the clothes go up to air and dry, and then they are taken down and stuffed upstairs in the bathroom. With my latest word discipline ringing in my subconscious ears, I know I have to make a start on this pile and that I will be so happy when its all back on the shelves neatly piled up and ready to use.

Sometimes its just the sheer hugeness of the task that puts me off.. but I have decided that it can all be tackled by doing it each day for one hour.. I turn on the radio and start to iron and its quite therapeutic listening to the radio, either discussions or plays, or indeed sometimes its classical music... that hour soon goes, and the pile gets higher and the awful mess gets smaller.. I have been on this plan just since Monday and I think I should have all the items back in the cupboard by Sunday which will be marvellous..  I am certainly not the worlds best housekeeper.  More big picture me, but I do like a tidy house and see the things all put away... trouble is by the end of the week, the counters are all full again and need tidying away.. but that's just a routine that needs to be re established.. putting everything away immediately it is used..

As I live in an old Georgian Rectory, the rooms are large, and there are lots of places to store things... so  this means I put away things that I know are useful, and then don't think about them again until I need them, then I find I have forgotten where I actually did put them.. I read somewhere that Mrs Rose Kennedy, used to make to do lists, and would pin them on her front so she could read them and do them that day... seems a bit obvious but she kept on top of things like that.. not sure I would get on with wearing lists, but if it worked for her OK. 

I do make lists, then forget to take them out with me**
For instance I make lists to do for the shopping.. having written them and read them, I leave them invariably on my desk... however as I have read them, I do get mainly all the items I wanted, so perhaps that's not a bad thing.

Ironing has been a bone of contention for me for some time, since my ops I have not been able to sit or stand for any length of time and so the cupboards became jangled up with things that needed ironing and I was only doing the clothes that needed ironing specifically for using.. how dreadful is that!! Now with my new regime, I shall be in charge again, and as we all know, being in charge  and on top of things , is the best feeling in the world!!

A cranky day

 Today has been Biscuit Wednesday when we go and collect the boys from school and sit with them at their house until their parents return at 7pm. Its a long time for little boys who are tired from being at school and the last thing they want to do is read from their books and learn some more.. Grandpa takes them in the garden for a bit of football practice, but that leads to tears as he seems to always win and Josh thinks its terribly unfair... Somehow my husband keeps his cool and doesn't get upset, but says its all how life is and Josh must learn that winning doesn't come easy or every time.. Don't think that Josh is that glad about this philosophy.. Meanwhile Sammy who also is doing his reading practice decides that he is fed up with learning and wants to watch TV and then bursts into tears when he is told to finish his reading first.. So all in all a cranky type of afternoon.. It did get better when they had their tea and ate and stopped feeling hungry.. amazing what a little food can do, and then they did watch the television and calm down and then did play games on the screen which they loved to do until their parents returned. Its a long day for these two little ones, as their parents leave them with a childminder at 7am to go to work.. so they are up at 6, which is an early start and then not to bed until around 8 so no wonder they are tired.. But this is normal in so many families all over the modern world.. My daughters all work and they have had to devise similar routines for the children.. wanting the best of things a nice home and holidays means in many cases mums cannot stay at home as the finances are so stretched and another income is needed.. Of course everyone has higher expectations too, and so it goes on getting drawn tighter and tighter into the wheel of work, not having time with their children, and buying all the things that they think is necessary to be happy in this world. They are all money rich but time starved and I cannot see this cycle ending soon.. Of course it is not happy medium either when there are no jobs and you have to scrape by, but I wonder what level of income is truly needed to be happy.. When my kids were young, we only ever managed to get away for a holiday with all the kids once- and that was a week in a caravan in Cornwall. WE never thought that holidays were a right, we didn't have the money, so we found other things to do in the summer holidays .. they went to stay with my parents for a couple of weeks, they played with other children in the street.. the idea of a family holiday just didn't come into it.. The children had toys when it was their birthdays, or Christmas, but never very big ones, or expensive and they were so happy with them . Nowadays if I look at what the grandchildren have as far as toys are concerned, they could all, without exception open a toy shop each, they have so many!! Is this what their parents are working so hard for??.. And clothes, the choices of clothes to wear each day is amazing and of course only the very best and most expensive... do they really need so many things to be happy ?.. When I was small, we seemed to live a much more simple life.. Yes we did go on holiday each year as my dad being a french teacher organised french trips with my mother, so we went along, but never on our own, always being part of a troup- we had maybe a couple of pairs of shoes, best one, ones to wear daily plimsolls for sport at school and maybe a pair of wellingtons if the weather was wet.. never any designer named shoes either.. We had a piano, which we sang around when guest or family came around.. My father played the violin, my mother sang  and my brother and I were encouraged to sing too. WE had a radio which we listened to, and later we managed to have television, but it wasn't until I was in my mid teen years.. so we found other ways to amuse ourselves... reading the most obvious choice. We would go to the library each Saturday and stand waiting to be allowed to go and choose books... I still feel that near sick feeling of excitement whenever I am in a library waiting to choose my next set of books.. I could not get enough of reading, and spent many many hours lost in my own little world... Reading wasn't just for school, reading was for all the space of time you could manage to capture and have the time to sit and travel in your mind all over the place, into adventures and situations... reading was more real sometimes than real life!  Money isn't really what keeps people happy its the sharing of experiences, the time spent together- bonding doing things. You don't need a whole shelf of shoes or wardrobes of clothes or so many toys you forget what you've got, its learning together sharing values and understanding how to be amongst other people and to try and get along with everyone.. One day my daughter came and told me a little girl kept pushing her over in the playground and hurting her., I said  'tell me about this little girl, is she unhappy with you, why do you think makes her act like that?' My daughter looked at me and said,' well, she wears glasses, and has sticky out ears and no one likes her much.'. So I told my girl the next day' ask her why she is unhappy and say you will be her friend.'. so she did and they did become friends and she stopped being hurt in the playground.. I do think that sometimes trying to understand the other persons point of view or to think about why that person is doing bad things to you, gives a different perspective that might change everything..  I always try to put myself into the other person's shoes, and it helps a lot to get answers when you think that there are none.. Just like today when those little boys were being cranky, they needed to be fed, loved and cared for, and then they were happy again..

To be remembered for

Sometimes when I sit and start to ponder about my life and all the different paths I might have chosen, I do have moments when I ask what exactly have I achieved with my life? My husband will say of course to this heavy question, you have five wonderful children and they are giving you grandchildren.. but if I am really in a pokey mood I will jump back and say well, half the world can do that, what have I actually to show for all my time on earth apart from kids? If you speak to my friends and ask them to describe me, I think you will find that they will say I am positive, smile and laugh a lot and keep in touch many times over the years. That talking is easy and the range of subjects we can cover in a conversation is many and very varied. My children would say that I am mad, not like other mothers, rushed around doing things, changing houses at the drop of a hat, didn't keep all their drawings that they made at school, in fact times were that they found them in the bin after being hung up for a while... that I didn't teach them to read, and rarely managed to turn up for their school activities as I was always working and didn't get the time off! However they will also say that they were told that there was nothing they couldn't achieve if they set their heart on it,that girls were every bit as able as boys and could do as much and more sometimes, than boys, that there was nothing to slow them down except themselves.. That the house was full of books and laughter and adventures, but that one had to be independent and do things for yourself in order to get them done properly! [They knew that I wasn't into the small details, but more a big picture person!!].. When my life with their dad became more difficult and got strained, they were all helpful as much as they could be and understood why I made the choices to end the marriage when I did.. I did not ask them to take sides, I did not bad mouth my husband, and we all remained in contact and now after many years share all the family moments together without friction. It took a while, but this husband and my first one get along like a house on fire.. so that does help the kids cope with the situation. All those rearing years I was flying by the seat of my pants, there were few books on parenting and not much use the ones that had been published, so it was very much a learning curve for all of us.. Out of this journey I have got five wonderful charming easy to talk to, very ambitious and successful children.. I have been so blessed I cannot tell you how many prayers that took, but it all worked out in the end.. So how would I like or want to be remembered, is as a fun person, with lots of love and laughter and happiness, that positive thinking can achieve so much and to never let anyone be in the position of making you unhappy... sort it out, or walk away and start again.. I think I have passed on this fortitude to my family and hope it helps them deal with all the problems they encounter on the way... its not only success that makes the man or woman, but how successful you have been in human contact and loving and caring that creates the character that people will remember..and I think that is maybe what I have achieved with all the years I've had so far*.Well, I hope so anyway!.

Aix en Provence

If you look at the blogs that I am a follower of, you will note that quite a few of them are french based or biased.. this is because at heart I am always at home in France. At the fall of France at the beginning of the 1940's my father's family lived in Aix en Provence, and when the Germans were approaching the town, my grandfather decided to leave France and go to live in England. As he had originally come from India with his family in the twenties, and owned English passports he decided the safest place for his family was England, especially as they were of mixed race., him having married an Anglo Indian.. So they managed to get on the last train leaving Marseilles, before the troops arrived to stop the exodus.. they made their way to the port of St Jean de Luz and managed to get on board and arrive safe and sound in England. My grandparents had raised 12 children, some of them already in England working, but the rest accompanied them on this ship voyage which was very dangerous as ships of course were still being sunk by the Germans.. On arrival they were given a place to stay by friends, and eventually ended up in Hampton Court where they ended their days.. So my father regaled us with stories of living in Aix during his childhood and youth and we visited Northern France every year and Paris from time to time.. Then when I was 18 he accepted a post teaching in a school near where he had been educated, and finally he made his way back to his lovely home town.. For the first month, we met people, some of whom approached him in the street to kiss him and say welcome back, where did you go?? We dined out for a whole month every night catching up on all the news of friends of the family and his school friends, so getting to live there was most unusual, as we had a ready made pile of people willing to be friends to us and their children to show us around,. I loved living in Aix, because of all the stories it felt like home immediately. My father was so happy too, and my mother was in her element. The whole ambiance suited us all. Then I came home for a visit to a friend and had a blind date where I met my husband to be, then next thing I was living in England, and never lived again in Aix.. I miss France so much, but my life never gave me the chance to live there again, so I love to read all these blogs and fill my soul and senses with the sights and visions of France.. Magical indeed....Fascinating to think that next year will be the 50th anniversary of my starting to live there, will I manage to get back to start living there again!?

wasting time

I just hate to waste time, and like a lot of other people, mainly women I think, I do several tasks at once.. this is why I have many times left the bath on and its overflowed with disasterous results in the kitchen below and all the electrics! However today I was clearing up the kitchen and wiping things down and decided to think about my mother, whom I still miss dreadfully although she died almost 10 years ago this March. When she died, it was sudden and unexpected and for years as she was the healthier of the two parents, we thought it would be my dad that would go first as he had a history of heart problems and yet, she went first, causing shock as she was such a positive personality and although she was not five foot high and tiny figure , she filled a room when she entered ! So, there I was in the middle of doing things and thinking about other matters when my mother popped into my mind. She was exactly 20 years older than I am now, so that means in order to reach her age, I have another twenty years, and what am I going to do with it.. A while ago, it wouldn't have entered my mind, but with my latest health issues, its things like this I find I am thinking about more and more.. First tranch of my  life was at home and learning and growing into a person, the second was being a mother and wife and career person with running and home and caring for five children and husband and now I am still working, still a wife, albeit to another husband, and what is next? I love to travel, but finances are tighter now that we are older... whoever said it would be a breeze getting older and we would have all that money saved or in the value of the house.. ha ha they were not right... anyway, travel apart, I am going to take stock and start to  do my things things just for me , and one of these is blogging of course, communicating with the world... then I have joined a circle of french speakers to improve my daily french...coming from a French family with a name like Chopin, I should already be fluent, but I am not, so this is one thing I have to do this year.. first meeting is next sunday in Nottingham.. looking forward to that... next thing is writing my book, which I have been slow burning for many years,.. then art, that has to come back in my life in a big way.. hasn't really been as big a part as it should have been after I left Art School in the 60's.. then home makeing and crafting and more antique browsing and finding treasures, and photography,... there is so much I want to do and will do, just have to get and do them... I am hopeless at planning, just better if I action as soon as I think of it... I can't bear to waste time and so today I have done many things and things are b ubbling in kitchen whilst I grab a few moments to reflect... so roll on twenty years, lets see what you're going to do to me!!![ mind you the photo above, taken twenty years ago is not much like me now, so what will I  look like in another twenty years!! ]

Walking was cold this morning..

This morning, I took Millie out for a little walk around a place called Orchid Wood... whether there are any real orchids there I have no idea.. The ground was hard with frost and it was very bitterly cold... of course I had forgotten to bring a heavy scarf, and was only wearing one pair of socks, so I froze really fast.. Millie however was in her element even though I kept her on lead.. She has this dreadful habit of jumping up and kissing the person to death, she gets quite stupid... so I am keeping her on a lead at the moment.. its a shame as she loves to run, but John takes her out running every other day so I am not going to feel guilty.. we passed a lot of dogs that were running around, and as I passed a couple of people, I let them know why she was onlead.. the lady said 'I wouldnt mind her jumping up ,and then bent over to stroke her at which signal, madame jumped and jumped all over the poor woman who laughed as she got away, but she then undesrtood that Millie wasnt just a jumper but a kisser and licker too!
We had a lovely walk, but it took me ten minutes at least to thaw out my feet!

 John has just taken Reiver out for his run- its his turn today... he will collapse by the fireside for the rest of the afternoon when he returns.... Reiver that is, and probably John unless I get him lots of things to do around the house ha h.
.I am so happy back blogging, what did I do before I discovered it!!I just love looking at all the other blogs and seeing how people have got on that day.. the lovely things they have created and inspire me hopefully to get and get on with tasks I have to do, not nearly as artistic as them tho**Every Winter it gets cold, but for some reason the reaction is of surprise, even though its expected because it is winter time..I'm not sure I could live happily forever in a place without real seasons, like my friend does in Florida, it always seems to be summerlike there the whole year round.. that would freak me out I think. My son who is in Australia is coping with temps in the high forties, which would be unheard of here...( we would probably have hourly newscasts on the people dying from heat stroke,) but they all seem to take it in their stride over there... no wonder they feel cold in winter time when the temps go down to the twenties ha ha!!When Dan and Alex got married over here a couple of years ago, her family all wore cardigans as they felt the cold and it was in June and blazing heat (for us!!

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This year I am determined to make an effort to de clutter... easy to say, but how to be ruthless.. When we moved into this house almost 15 years ago, we came from a large four bed house, but the furniture was not enough to fill all our rooms here, so I visited Antique shops and charity shops and gradually over the years managed to fill it out nicely... however I wasn't able to stop visiting and now on almost every surface there is something that is pretty or elegent, but totally useless... so I have to be hard to decide exactly what I want to retain... I could use a car boot sale, but its such a bore getting there and sitting all around waiting for a few pennies.. so I am going to bite the bullet and recycle the things back to the charity shops for them to sell on again... next week I am going to work on one room at a time, and take a before and after picture, that might make better impact on me doing it** They say its Spring Clean time, so I am going to make that time work for me, so that by my birthday in May it will all be done and de cluttered.. I know I cannot rush it and do it all in a week, but in manageable bit sizes I should get it done.. of course in a ideal world I would have also decorated, but decluttering is enough for me to get going on at the moment... Yesterday I made three loaves and various cake buns, so don't have to bake today, will go out later to the shops and get some packets that I ordered, then return here before the snow we have been told to expect starts to arrive... Hope everyone is having a happy Saturday too!

off line

I have been offline for almost one week and its been quite a torure not to be able to catch up with everything happening in Blog land.. However all is well and I am back again.  Its been a difficult week even without the computer as the phones also went.. Our telephone pole was knocked down by a silly van last Saturday and all the lines trailed over the roads and gardens.. They had to be cut back and then re attached this morning.. but its been a long week of silence.. don't know what I would have done without my mobile to keep me in touch with my business and closest friends. My husband had to use my mobile to contact and work with his office, and I used an older version.. but it was good to get back to basics.. We are quite spoiled by choice.. I have also gone the route of having my hair chopped off and seeing if I like it... its been bobbed, I wanted it much shorter my hairdresser said it would be too much of a shock, so to do in stages.. if I didnt like the bob I could have it shortened next time... we shall see..

 I saw a rainbow the other night and it was so beautiful hanging there in the misty sky.. I remembered when the children were young, we saw one over London and decided to see if we could reach the Rainbow's end,  We drove this way and that way and over several fun timed hours, we travelled all over trying to get to the end of it, but each time we thought we got close and got all excited, it moved again in a nother direction.. It was fun to do, and the kids learned a lesson I think, that all in life is not as straighforward as it looks, but  how we did  laugh a lot that day!!!

There is a note on another site saying my niece will turn 39 tomorrow! I can still remember the phone call her dad made to us all those years ago, announcing that he had a baby daughter, their first child, and he was so excited and nervous and thrilled... and we all were so delighted too to welcome another addition to the family.. Now she is a fully fledged grown up!!..Of course I should not really be surprised as my own older children are now in their forties, but inside me, I am still only around 20 ish and still waiting to know when I am going to feel grown up!!! Sometimes I think this is all a dream and I am going to wake up and find myself back at home with all my life yet to live and my parents still looking after me and I am just getting out and about with a job and new friends,and this life has all been a a mirage.. but then I know its real and I have my wonderful kids and family and all the living I have had to do, all has had a purpose, even if at times I didnt and still don't really know what the wretched purpose was !!! However, one thing that I do find unsettling is how young and immature I still feel inside.. I surprise myself with my knowledge too and then on reflection perhaps it is nt so unusual, but because I am still only silly inside my head I find interesting that others seem to think I have something to impart..My mother always said she would never get old, and she really didnt.. she was out visiting sick people in hospital until her late eighties, she found things to go out and do away from the house, that gave her pleasure and made her still active and useful...She had a beautiful soprano voice that she used singing at weddings, and still took singing lessons to keep her voice in tune.. so I guess inside of her she still felt young and resisted falling into the trap of letting yourself be old purely by age .. of course she did enjoy good health and mental facilties, so she was fortunate too in that way.. I always  wanted to live until I was over 100 perhaps 106 might be good, but with all this recent health developments I am no longer quite so certain.. I don't want to anticipate dying younger, but illness does have an effect on ones capability to stay younger feeling.. Today I am having a good day, so I am optimistic, lets hope tomorrow will be the same... whatever it turns out to be, I am so glad I am back online....!!