Tuesday, 7 February 2012
To be remembered for
Sometimes when I sit and start to ponder about my life and all the different paths I might have chosen, I do have moments when I ask what exactly have I achieved with my life? My husband will say of course to this heavy question, you have five wonderful children and they are giving you grandchildren.. but if I am really in a pokey mood I will jump back and say well, half the world can do that, what have I actually to show for all my time on earth apart from kids? If you speak to my friends and ask them to describe me, I think you will find that they will say I am positive, smile and laugh a lot and keep in touch many times over the years. That talking is easy and the range of subjects we can cover in a conversation is many and very varied. My children would say that I am mad, not like other mothers, rushed around doing things, changing houses at the drop of a hat, didn't keep all their drawings that they made at school, in fact times were that they found them in the bin after being hung up for a while... that I didn't teach them to read, and rarely managed to turn up for their school activities as I was always working and didn't get the time off! However they will also say that they were told that there was nothing they couldn't achieve if they set their heart on it,that girls were every bit as able as boys and could do as much and more sometimes, than boys, that there was nothing to slow them down except themselves.. That the house was full of books and laughter and adventures, but that one had to be independent and do things for yourself in order to get them done properly! [They knew that I wasn't into the small details, but more a big picture person!!].. When my life with their dad became more difficult and got strained, they were all helpful as much as they could be and understood why I made the choices to end the marriage when I did.. I did not ask them to take sides, I did not bad mouth my husband, and we all remained in contact and now after many years share all the family moments together without friction. It took a while, but this husband and my first one get along like a house on fire.. so that does help the kids cope with the situation. All those rearing years I was flying by the seat of my pants, there were few books on parenting and not much use the ones that had been published, so it was very much a learning curve for all of us.. Out of this journey I have got five wonderful charming easy to talk to, very ambitious and successful children.. I have been so blessed I cannot tell you how many prayers that took, but it all worked out in the end.. So how would I like or want to be remembered, is as a fun person, with lots of love and laughter and happiness, that positive thinking can achieve so much and to never let anyone be in the position of making you unhappy... sort it out, or walk away and start again.. I think I have passed on this fortitude to my family and hope it helps them deal with all the problems they encounter on the way... its not only success that makes the man or woman, but how successful you have been in human contact and loving and caring that creates the character that people will remember..and I think that is maybe what I have achieved with all the years I've had so far*.Well, I hope so anyway!.