The other day in the newspaper, I read a comment from a very beautiful Italian actress who is married to a french actor very well known. She is truly the epitome of beauty with luscious lips, full and wide, dark, curly hair and a very womanly body that would be to die for.. She has flawless skin and beautiful teeth, in fact she is close to perfect as anyone could be. Her husband however is ugly, but tall and dynamic and sexy too in his own unusual way.. They have started a family in her forties as she was not ready before to be a mother. before , she said..
Well, the comment was 'True beauty is about womanliness, in your face, your body, which is there from life and experiences.' What did she mean from this? Does she mean like so many say, that true beauty is from within, and that it is the character that is formed by life that has true beauty.
When I was young, looks were everything, followed by shape and then minded interests and things to talk about. You could be as handsome or beautiful as anything, but if you had nothing to say, well that wore out very quickly.. It was all on a primeval level, that you went and chose a partner or friend that was the best you could find so that the children that would result, would get the best chance in life by being healthy and good looking and fit. That is the most basic premise, but it was not easy to manage.
There were girls I knew who would go out with a person because they had a car, and could take them out to restaurants where they could pretend to be grown up and sophisticated even though they were not yet in their twenties! How laughable is that, everyone would know that they were trying to be adult and were so obviously not!! Or others that would only go out with the most popular person in class or amongst their friends.
I seemed to be drawn to those that were reasonably good looking, but who also had something to talk about apart from the latest football or rugby match. They could perhaps talk about books or films or plays or arts, just things that I could relate to. It meant that it took a long time for me to find boyfriends that were mature enough, and I was into my 19th year before I started go out with one person regularly and that one turned out to be my first husband... !
I looked for beauty subconsciously, in the people that I wanted to be surrounded by.. sometimes it was their voice that was the attraction rather than the features, or the kindness that they showed in company. My girlfriends came in all sorts of sizes and looks, but all of them were beautiful in their own ways.
With the advent of age, I became much less choosy and yet somethings remain. They do not have to be swoony handsome now, but intellectually challenging and interesting. Shape too doesn't matter so much, but their mind does.. The girl friends I have now have all matured well and look after themselves, but their beauty is deeply ingrained in their faces and bodies and from within, just as the actress said. However it is easy to say when you look reasonable yourself, but supposing I had been born really plain and listless, how could I relate that remark to anything I knew? The ones that I observed chose to accentuate one feature that could be made better, their eyes, their lips, or figure and managed to feel confident doing that... Many times you see couples and wonder what made them that couple, but obviously there is something in the partner that adds the dimension that is missing in other relationships with people that could be taller better looking or more dynamic...
It really is in the eye of the beholder, and probably that is what the actress meant..
thank goodness for that, because otherwise everyone would have given up looking a very long time ago and the world would be so different!!