There's that expression, Ah well, tomorrow is another day, meaning that you can defer what you are doing and leave it 'til the morning or afternoon or evening of the following day.. Well, I realised this morning that there was no such thing that equalled this saying**
I don't know who made it up, I know it was said at the end of that famous film, Gone With the Wind.. but who was the first one, probably some ancient Greek who seemed to have said the first sayings of anything we use these days!!
So, why do I say this?
In my twenties the future seemed so far in front that you could easily think that you'd have eons of time to correct or do what you wanted.. so University wasn't an option, you were going out to work straight away instead.. University could be looked at again when you could afford to attend.. Having Children young, so you couldn't go out and nightclub the night away, and travel without fear of time or place, well, you could do all that when the kids had grown and gone their own road.. Losing your figure after having kids, well it would take time to get it back, so don't worry Tomorrow is another day!!
Ha! Well it jolly well isn't because tomorrow becomes TODAY- of course what a simpleton, I hear you say... well, it occurred to me that all those tomorrows have stopped being endless and easy to anticipate , cos now I am running out of time.. the way each week goes in a flash, when it used to drag as a child and now its gone in two seconds.. and don't ask about years! Where the hell do they disappear to?
I am sure that if I had been able to address myself at twenty say, I would not have listened because my hormones were raging and all I wanted was to find a husband to settle down with and have babies... I would have ignored the advice, just as I poo pooed the idea that school days were going to be looked on in the future as the best days of ones life!
Having realised that there are no tomorrows- only today, I sat and wondered this morning who exactly I am?
At this advanced stage of 67, I have to admit I don't bloody know!
Oh of course I was a mother, a wife, a cook, cleaner, recruitment expert, career girl... but what. underneath it all, am I.?.. I certainly had different dreams before the hormones kicked in.. I drew all the time, I went to Art School, I was going to be a stage costume designer, I had it all worked out.. Then my dad decided that it was time I was put to work, and so I left Art School and went to work in a Bank operating a machine that was ancient and hard to use which processed all the movements in and out of bank customers on their statements. Then too, I had to file, make tea and be useful... how boring!!!..
At 18 I went with my parents when my dad accepted a teaching job in his home town of Aix en Provence.. Lovely experience, but after two years I came back to live in England, taking a job as a Nanny in Sussex to be near my boyfriend who was at Sussex University.. At 21 I was married and pregnant with my first child Daniel. It would be over 30 years later when I was able to have a Christmas alone with my husband, albeit the second one.. as each year all the kids were there and sharing the day..
In the meantime, I lost who I was and wanted to be.. [using the old expression... Well, Tomorrow is another day], plenty of time to pick up the pieces and get going.. but guess what?.. When the first three were old enough to be left with a babysitter and I could get onto the nightclubbing and concerts routine, I get pregnant again and have another two boys who were delightful, but who stopped me in my tracks in getting a bit of life outside the house.. So in my thirties I still had to stay home, work and play and see the years going by still hoping that in my forties I could do it all...
Well Ha again! guess what... I would have looked too stupid , at least in my eyes as I know others do, but the lifestyle that I thought I could catch up with ? That time had passed by and I had missed out all those plans I'd had when I thought that Tomorrow was another day....
And now here I am in the last quarter of my life plagues by stupid illness effects and not in the perfect health I always had, my energy levels quite depleted, thinking what a waste!
The expression Carpe Diem, is so right.... Seize the Day and do not wait for tomorrow- do it all when you want to do it, don't defer, do it now!!
That's why I love reading the blogs of all of you, its immediate and you are seizing the day!