10 years today

Ten years ago, was the worst year of my life bar none. It started in the January and did not finish until April the following year. The first to leave was my Aunt June who was the youngest sister of my mother, then a whole lot of cousins, aunts uncles and finally my father who survived one year and one month after my mother left us.

 We had all gathered the month before in Crawley Sussex where my parents lived. My sister in law Brigitte had come over with my brother from Belgium where they live, and we were all together out having a lovely meal together. I had taken time to spend the weekend with my brother and Brigitte and parents, so was staying over at the same hotel. We had such a happy weekend together, the sun shone and all was well with the world.  A few weeks later my mother became ill with a fever and then her voice changed, and became higher, which is a sign I think, that the kidneys are failing.. but she didn't want to leave the house and go to hospital, so my dear dad was trying to cope and getting the meds.. after a week she did have to go to hospital and I rushed over to see her, as did my brother and his children ..

 After a few days, we thought she was recovering, but it was not to be and on March 11th 2002, she left us forever.  My father was shattered, he had always the medical things wrong, not her, but it was her time.

With my dad and brother we arranged the funeral and the church was packed to the rafters. We did her proud I am pleased to say.. One year and a month later, whilst staying with me for Easter, my dad's aneurysm ruptured, and after getting him to hospital and staying by his side and texting my brother all the time, he too left us on April 23rd 2003, making a total of 13 people who' lives had ended in that 13 months.. a very hard year indeed.

 I think about them a lot and keep wishing I could pick the phone up to call them and chat, but that will never happen again.. I know that life ends, but it is so hard losing the loved ones however old they are.. Ten years ago I lost the only mum I knew and miss her terribly all the time. I wonder what will happen in another ten years, will it be my turn and my daughters and sons  feeling the same loss- hopefully it will be more like thirty years if I am lucky!!  I never really thought of how it would feel being old and getting older, but you have to try and anticipate  how we shall cope and it would be fine to know that I would live happily and fairly healthy life until my time is up.. I shall do my best to achieve that.. so age is not getting the best of me yet!!