In the 70's there was a famous book by Carl Sagan, which was later made into a film starring Ali Mcgraw, and Ryan O'Neill and sold out everywhere. It was called Love Story.. A little light story with a sad ending and one of the sayings that passed into mainspeak, was 'Love means never to have to say sorry'..
Very profound I think, and for a very long time I know that a lot of people , myself included, thought that what it meant was that whatever you said to a loved one in the heat of any anger, meant that they knew that you'd not meant it to hurt and so you needn't say sorry for the wounding ** This, of course is the wrong idea.!!
What it really means is never doing anything that means you have to be sorry for!!!... if you love that person, you would put them first in all your thoughts when you decided to do things, and even in an argument, you would never seek to wound them with a stray remark. Then the other day I read a blog where the lady said she had been very disturbed by something someone on Facebook had said. Her relationship had broken down, and she couldn't understand why the other person hadn't understood that whatever she had said in a bad mood or argument wasn't really meant to be taken literally!
I have lived quite a while now and known two husbands, and I can honestly say in any arguments I have had, I have never tried to get a wounding blow in with words, ever, no matter how mad I was at the time.. I have always tried to put myself in the other person's place and would know how hurtful words could be..
Loving someone is really caring deeply for that person, wanting to make them happy all the time, seeing a smile and pleasure from doing little things to make them know you love them.. It never has to cost much, its just the idea that being away from them, you had seen something they might like and brought it home for them..
Never having to say sorry, means you never go out of your way to hurt them and then have to say sorry in the morning** So many people stay in an abusive relationship because after dealing with hurt, both physically and mentally, their husband, wife or partner will apologise in the morning with sweet smiles and all will be well... But it isn't really, its just covered up..
Today I read a lovely letter from John Steinbeck to his son of 16 who wrote to his dad saying he was in love and what could he advise about it.. It was so touching and deep and non pontificating, a male to a male letter gently stating that it was a wonderful feeling, that he should be happy about feeling like this, and that the girl would know he felt this way and would let him know of her interest or not.. and he should treat all females with respect and honour and love would be fulfilling in its time.. It was such a great letter, and from the heart...
. I hope that my children have found a love that reciprocates their love back to them.. that they enjoy all the times together and the silences too when you are so comfortable in each others company, and the deep passion that can make you feel so alive and happy to be born.. Then to be able to pass this on to their children in turn is a true blessing.
I am grateful that despite having divorced my first husband, I keep in good stead with him, that we have never spoken badly about each other to the children, and that they have a relationship with him that is deep and knowing and outside our breakup. That my children also get along with their step brother and sisters and have come to love their stepfather too..
But at the base of all this, is Love, and true love, demands nothing and gets the world of love given back without question . Everyone gets back what they send out.. Love is selfless and kind and thoughtful and forever true.. with Love in your life, whether its children parents, partners or animals , you are indeed a very wealthy person and will enjoy life whatever happens..