Friday, 16 March 2012

love is....

Following on from yesterdays quote and post, and after discussing discipline of children with another blogger.. I am going to talk about love and respect. 

These days, as with the disciplining of children, we are all lost in the fog of being politically correct.. We cannot lay rules down for the children, we cannot spank them, we cannot shout at them, we have to reason with them and get them to agree with you about what is to be done.. With this in mind, is it any wonder that the classrooms are a jungle where teachers cannot teach, that any child thinks an adult is on the same level as their peers and can be spoken to without respect.. in a world that is gradually getting faster and faster out of control..

Along with Love comes Respect.. a small word, but a whole world of meaning.. In the old days, if you had a child out of wedlock it was considered a sin against society.. against the morals of the society you lived in. Unfortunately the reaction was so severe and painful for so many mothers who had to pretend they had not given birth and to give their darling babies away.. The cost was high, but the reverse is also high!

We have a generation of children who have not been born in stable relationships, who's parents are not married, who are left behind when the parents are divorced... All this latitude has happened because we changed the way society managed to cope. Love is hard enough to keep going, but if you are in a transient relationship, what is the glue that binds you together? It is respect that makes relationships a long lasting matter.

There are so many children out there being raised by single mothers who have no intention of getting married, but who expect to live a full and complete sexual life without the ring on their fingers. Why would a man want to marry his friend if he can get everything he wants just by living with her and sharing the bills of running a home and children.. These people are keeping their options open, and its not respectful to the person they are living with..

No matter how many children or houses that you share, you have not stood up in front of society and your friends to say, this person is the one that I have chosen to share my life with as long as I can, and I am proud to give/ take the name being bestowed on me by my marriage..

It is a big commitment, but one that is really worth taking. By getting married, you are standing up and declaring your love and respect for that person, and in taking their name, you are adding value to the relationship.  Name giving is actually a very deep and meaningful thing. To take the name of your husband is being asked to join the family he comes from.. The name of a person is one of the most valuable things that they can offer you. By giving you their name they are declaring that this person is chosen to add children to this family and by doing that, will ensure the family line continues.. It is a valuable connection and without marriage, whole families are split and divided and broken up.. the line discontinued..

 Of course some people are unable to have children, or choose not to, but in agreeing to marry, they are still declaring that in front of all their peers, this person is so special I am sharing the name with them..

Another thing about this society we live in, is that it is thought more interesting to say-' I'm not religious.. I don't believe in God, I fail to see why a clever thinking person should believe in a power that is unseen- ' Well, some people truly hold this view, but it seems to have been imposed on the majority of people that being seen to be religious is soft or silly!!   So many parents, married or not, say that they will not impose a religion on their children, that they will be able to decide when they are adults if they choose to attend a church... This is of course stupid!!  Without being given the basics in instruction and example who is going to show them or discuss so they can make a decision!!

You see, Love is a very big word although it is only 4 letters long.. Love means its not only standing up in front of people and sharing a name, it is also laying down the foundations of how to cope and behave.. and along with the niceties of behaving in public and private, it is also giving a base for the children to later decide if religion will work for them.. so they have to have knowledge of churches and the scriptures in order to make a valid choice later..

 Love takes a lot of commitment and time and energy  but in giving it so generously in all these different ways, you too will feel the results inside yourself...
 It is so true when they say,' if you give out love, it will surround you too.. '

1 comment:

  1. Hi Janzi,
    Thanks for stopping by and following. It's always great to meet new bloggers. An interesting post which, on love and marriage I agree whole heatedly with. You have hit the nail on the head. I have been blissfully married for over 20 years, with respect and caring always at the forefront of the relationship. I struggle with religion, when so many nations fight in the name of their gods, it's hard to justify the need to follow. I know it's the radicals that are to blame, but this comes from generation after generation of brainwashing.

    I have some reading to catch up on with your previous posts. I think you are going to require me to wear my thinking cap. Love it :-)