Sunday, 8 April 2012

Easter Sunday 20012

Another Easter Sunday, I have had many, and don't know how many more I shall have. Sometimes when I am coping with my disability and also having angina pains, I do wonder whether I will get to the eighties like my parents or not... anyway, this is another Easter Day and its pretty grey here and quite cold. My husband is gone for his Sunday jog with friends, and I am here , woken up despite it being early and loath to go back to bed.

9 years ago I spent the last Easter with my dad. We went to church and renewed our baptismal vows with everyone there, then came home and had a super day together. The evening before he had complained of chest pains, but managed to get to sleep and rest later. Easter Sunday was a very happy day.. in the evening John's parents who lived next door, came around for the evening and my dad and they chatted away all night and it was so lovely. The Easter Monday we had a power cut and went next door to see if they had been affected. When I got back, my dad was stranded in the toilet not able to move. His aneurysm had burst and he was bleeding internally. We called the ambulance and I went with him to the hospital. His pain was overwhelming and after waiting in reception I went back to find him still in the corridor unattended. I got someone to put him in a cubicle and get the doctor. They gave him morphine and then again and again and he told me that he knew this was it.  I got a priest to hear his last confession and give him peace and he went to join my mother at 2.10 in that afternoon. When I came home I went straight to bed after being sick .. I never knew that grief could make you do that. I stayed silent all day after ringing my brother in Belgium  to tell him dad had gone from us.

So, each Easter is now tinged with sadness that he has gone, but glad I was able to be with him and get him the priest for the last rites. His faith was so important to him, particularly after he met my mother who wanted to know all about it and became a catholic as was required in those days, She really did make him see deeper into his religion. As we all do, he had taken it for granted a bit, but when he met her and she was so curious, he found out more and rediscovered his deep faith. Every Sunday they would attend mass with us., and when they had retired, they went several times during the week  and made many friends in the parish.  Their faith was so lovely to see, and I know it got them through many hard times, and particularly when my mother died, his faith held him up.

I saw a poster on face book, which showed Christ on the Cross, and an Easter Bunny, and it said Easter is not about bunnies... no it isn't, its about a sacrifice someone made so the world would try and be a better place... All these years later, and we still have not got the message... Love your neighbours as you would yourselves... this world is still fighting and clawing its way forward.. what a hell we have all been creating here on earth. When will we all realise, that living together doesn't mean fighting wars and losing lives.  The troops are over in various places of the world, trying to establish a semblance of order so life can be safer for the people... but democracy has never worked where there are various tribal factors at variance... where they only know how to fight to show authority.. its a truly messed up world and all the money in the world cannot save it..

Easter should have been a time of getting together and trying to live peacefully alongside each other. To help and aid the weak and defend them from suffering and hunger, but very few times does this happen.  I do hope by next Easter there will be a shift in the world to allow happiness, peace and then prosperity come to those corners of the world where they are afraid and trying to survive... that one day soon, the true meaning of Easter will be heard and we shall be calm and peaceful and no need for soldiers to go away to far distant lands..

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