Friday, 6 January 2012

falling apart

I am falling apart again..this getting old is no fun, just like a famous film actress said..'getting old is not for cissies'! how right she was. Now I need to have glasses for reading, never needed them before but this old body has decided it does now, and quickly too... first sign was a weird flashing and breaking up in right corner of right eye.. went to opticians and he said it was likely to be a low grade migraine..I never get them any grade, but apparently I had had nothing major, just change glasses and use for reading... As I read a lot, I have to obey him... I have been pushed around and made to go from hospital to hospital and everyone not sure what to do with me... Monday have more of the same although this time I shall have to go on the bus as the car will be in garage having tyres changed.. the bus trip is not too bad, just hate all the hanging around on corners waiting for them to come along.
 I was wondering the other day what advice. if any, I would have given to my 16 year old self..probably the most  regret I do have is not having done a university degree, because in those days it really counted and helped you get a really good job, and I would have loved to have gone and worked on tv- interviewing and reveiewing and researching.. too late now, but I would have said to that 16 yr old, stop all the histrionics and get down to some real studying and achieve as much as you possibly can before settling down and raising a family.. of course I married at 21 and had three children by the time I was 25... No time for much night clubbing or socialising outside for me or my young husband... much too early to have taken on responsibility for raising a family... we did alright though and by some miracle they turned out well and proud of them we are  too!!! All have in their own ways achieved a lot and taken the flag and run further and longer and more  successfully than we did.. I went back to work when the youngest was three and loved my work in Recruiting.. a job I was born for, never found it tedious or boring ever! then a few years later had the final two , a lovely couple of boys, who were delightful but much more demanding, and if I had had them first I might have stopped at two children instead of five!!¬!!Now they are all grown up, some with children, others waiting to be parents in the future, but all of them make me so proud they are mine... and how much knowledge I get from them, its quite amazing.. I love learning and their experience of the world  has different perspective and fresh outlook.. wonderful to chat and discuss with them any subject in the world..  also I would have told myself that life is to be experienced and taken in both hands... so much to see and feel out there, not to be afraid to be alone... to enjoy and savour being young and single instead of worrying about being left on the shelf!!!!!!!!!!!!!1so on that thought, I will end here and return to my waiting bed**

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