Monday, 16 January 2012

when I was young

When I was young, my biggest ambition was to be stage costume designer.. I was going to go to Slade Art School in London and I was going to livein the ambiance of all things arty! Having been to Art school I was pulled out after one year,as my dad had accepted a teaching post back in his childhood home of Aix en Provence, and so my brother and myself and mother went with him to learn the delights of living in the South of France.. it was magical, and that town is the very best of them all.. the culture, the arts the living and the whole way of life was just as he promised us in all the stories he had told us about the place whilst we were growing up in England.. My brother and I attended the university, and made friends and were very happy there..
On a visit home staying with a friend, I had a blind date, and met my husband to be for the first time... and that was that, within 2 years I was married, expecting a baby and living in England and never got to live again in France.. my heart aches for what might have been as I really felt at home there much more than any place in England.. and now its almost 50 years since we went to live in Aix, and I am still in England.. My brother however married a french girl, lives in Brussels and speaks the two languages and his kids are bi lingual and he has homes in the south of france and paris.. so he has done better on that front than I did... but I had more kids!!
When I was young, any thoughts of doing other things- I could put in my mind and say.'.one day I will get around to doing that', but the years slipped by and suddenly I have more years behind me than I am likely to have in front in the future... so that quote about seizing the day is soooo right!! Seize the day is so important... to value every moment is a joy that we miss too many times.... whoever that ancient person was who said ' youth is wasted on the young' was so right too** We never value what we have at the time, and this is just such a waste... I was looking at some photos the other day and I saw some I had done about 20 years ago and I remember being dissatisfied with them thinking they were not flattering... well, looking at them again, all I can say is I wish I could look like that now! Now I have lines on my face, probably more in the last year because of the health issues, I have grey hair that turns up after 3 weeks after the hairdresser has coloured it,, in fact it is snowy white in parts... my goodness.. it does make me wonder should I let it go without colouring at all and see what happens... but I did try that once and I felt so old immediately like Methusula- not sure how you spell that name... anyway you get the drift... so back it was to colouring again.. I have also decided to let the hair grow, which it has and is just about below my shoulder blades at the back, well, you might ask, how do I wear it.... UP of course, so I might as well have a short hair cut ha ha.

Actually the only seat I can sit comfortably on is this office seat in front of the computer, so that is perhaps a reason why I am so often at the puter and doing all this blogging into the ether... I guess I am really fortunate having a lovely loving family who put up with all my mad ways and eccentricities..  It was very amusing the other day when I was talking to my eldest daughter Rebecca and she said to me' you are turning into your mother you know'! and I could say back to her..'so are you!'  She was right though... my mother was delightful and a real artist.. she was a soprano singer and gave up her career to rear my brother and I , but she sang in Church and at Weddings all her life right into her 80's and even then she was taking singing lessons to keep her voice flexible... wonderful woman, never said a bad thing in her life about anyone, and her religion was so important to her. When she met my dad, she was a protestant.. and because he was catholic, she took instructions and was recieved into the catholic church when they married.. that was what happened in those days.. these times, they are more tolorant, but then you had to be the same to marry in a catholic church... I do catch myself saying things she would have done... funny isnt it, and sometimes when I look or catch a glance in the mirror I can see her and her mother in me!

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